My 2 favourite strategies for awkward therapy conversations with teens about sexual activity and drug use — For mental health professionals
+ A list of strategies and questions to take with you into session
Disclaimer: This newsletter provides general advice for educational and entertainment purposes only, it is not intended to be professional therapeutic or medical advice. Please speak with a registered mental health professional or book a session here to receive professional support.
Hey - This blog post is from my professional newsletter.
The Professional Cocoon is for fellow professionals working with young people, every fortnight I share my latest tips and insights for you to use in your practice with young people this week.
Only 3 weeks until my next Masterclass!
I run an intimate, small group Masterclass twice a year with a select handful of mental health professionals working with young people.
I’d love to have you join us!
Tuesday, 4th of March 2025 via Zoom
10:00 am - 1:00 pm AEDT - 3 CPD hours (attendance certificate provided!)
✨ Mastering Rapport: Teen Counselling Skills Masterclass ✨
For counsellors, social workers, psychologists and
related professionals working with teens.
Only a few spaces left and I won’t be running this again until the end of the year!
What’s the latest news on young people..
Your ability to start and manage challenging conversations with teens about their sexual behaviour and drug use is detrimental to their wellbeing, safety and how well they progress in therapy.
I know that sounds really intimidating,
but let me explain.
I’ve taken all my learnings over the past 8 years through screwing it up then finding a formula that really works, to help guide you in what feels like a terrifying but essential task for us.
Straight from my prep notes built over years of counselling teens and families…
Straight from my prep notes built over years of counselling teens and families…
As mental health professionals who want to safeguard and guide our teens,
our work with adolescents must involve expertly managing tricky conversations.
When done poorly, these conversations can be really awkward (reducing rapport with teens) or come off as too authoritarian (also reducing rapport AND increasing shame).
I like to say that tricky conversations with teens are like a waltz.
Gentle, may not look like you’re working very hard — But underneath the facade, there’s a high level of skill informing every intentional word out of your mouth.
These conversations with teens about their past, current or future behaviours are extremely powerful opportunities for connection and growth.
Here are 2 major factors for success.
2 KEY tools to have in your back pocket at all times to have the most effective conversation with teens about sexual behaviour + drug use 🚀
Validate Emotions and Experiences
K, this is an easy one because we know how to do this so well as therapists - but I think we need a reminder when it comes to teens because it’s done a little differently.
When we’re concerned, we tend to narrow into what information we want to get from them and what information we want to impart on them so they are safe.
But we need to tread SUPER lightly and know what to say so they don’t clam up or think we’re here to judge them.
I like to preface all of these convo’s with..
1. "Look, I don’t want you to feel like i’m investigating you like the police so you can into as much or little detail as you like, i’m cool for whatever you want to tell me”
2. Then asking open-ended questions such as, “What does this mean for you?” or “Is this a new thing for you?” “What was that experience like? What did you like or not like?”.
I find it best to focus on the feelings underneath rather than what exactly happened.
Unless of course you do need to find out specifics to confirm safety
eg. They are underaged/with someone older/Unsafe in other ways.
But even in those cases —- start with this approach to warm things up, then get the specifics, then go back to emotional safety.
This is the most important one..
Remember that risky behaviour is developmentally expected!
Risk-taking is part of the adolescent journey. It’s LITERALLY in their brains to do these things, to push boundaries, scare themselves, explore their identity (much to the challenge and dismay of their caregivers and teachers!).
As an adult coming from a different generation, I will admit that we need to reflect on our own biases and beliefs pretty frequently to manage our own discomfort to ensure the teen feels supported, not judged.
This isn’t always easy, but it IS essential…
Creating therapeutic approaches that respect and work WITH the adolescent brain and doing the work to manage our own discomfort are two key ingredients to working with teens success.
That can feel really overwhelming, so there are a few specific ways that i’ve found to do this to ensure we are feeling confident and well informed about how we support our teens.
I’ve created my ✨ Mastering Rapport: Teen Counselling Skills Masterclass ✨ to provide a space for my fellow professionals to dig deep into skills, approaches and techniques that really work with adolescents.
I’d love to have you join us in 3 weeks time to build expert rapport building skills and navigate complex teen issues such as caregiver involvement, social media, bullying and antisocial behaviours.
Tuesday, 4th of March 2025 via Zoom
10:00 am - 1:00 pm AEDT - 3 CPD hours (attendance certificate provided!)
Through 3 hours of case studies, 1-1 coaching and specialised training,
you will leave with:
⭐ Rapport building strategies to implement with resistant clients straight away
⭐ Insight into the developmental and neurobiological reasons for teen behaviour and mental health issues
⭐ Strategies to navigate challenging therapeutic issues unique to teens such as drug use, social media use and bullying
⭐ Peer supervision and connection with like-minded professionals due to the intimate, close group format
I’m Ellie.
Bachelor of Arts (Psych.), Master of Counselling
I am a specialist in adolescent therapy, after specialising in both my degrees, clinical placements and further training in adolescent, youth and family therapy. I run Professional Development trainings and workshops for fellow therapists working with teen counselling.
I specialise in Youth Trauma and Grief, with comprehensive additional training in family therapy, child and adolescent counselling, supervised by Sydney's leading family and child therapists and organisations.
I now run an online practice where I see clients, create content and workshops, as well as educate fellow professionals in adolescent counselling through professional development trainings and lecturing in adult tertiary education.
Have a qu or want to chat? I’d love to connect!
Connect on linkedin or send me an email
