There’s more to life than working. Here’s how I (a therapist) picked up fun hobbies I loved, stuck to them and changed my life.

I used to be the girl with no hobbies.

I figured that because I wasn’t good at anything specific as a kid, or wasn’t particularly passionate about anything extracurricular I would just work and have friends and that was about it and I would be okay.

I was wrong.
My excessive focus on work, productivity, labels and titles made me feel pretty bad about myself really.
I felt lost, had low mental health and didn’t really know what else to do except keep going and achieving.

Skating….. badly. But that’s the point. I’m still doing it!

The thing is…
We live in a time that, unless you’re one of the fortunate few - we’ll be working a looooong time.

Which means you’re going to have to come up with a way to live with work in your life. To come up with a way to manage LIVING involving work.

Not a life of work, with a side of living.

The people who are the happiest and live the longest do not over-work. They have hobbies. They have passions. They have deep connections to things outside of their productivity.
Most of the hardest workers are stressed, low in confidence, have poor sleep, health and don’t actually like their lives. (Look up blue zones if you’re interested in learning more - it’s freaking fascinating and idk about you, but i’ll take all the life advice from a happy 101 year old italian woman).

SO… if you want to do more than just work but don’t know where to start..

here’s what I did.

• Think about things I wanted to try for a long time but just never got around to it/or said to myself “I can’t”
  
  Surfing was the big one for me here - I had all the reasons that I couldn’t do it, eg:

  • “it’s too male dominated I feel intimidated, I am not that naturally athletic, I don’t know where to start, it’s going to be embarrassing”

  • But you know what ended up being way more embarrassing?
    Sitting and staring at surfers for hours on the beach because i was mesmerised by it but couldn’t bring myself to actually do it lol. So I was just a watcher for over a decade.

    And this past year i’ve bit the bullet and started surfing!

    
    Is it hard? yes. Do i look dumb? I have no doubt.
    Do I have fun and feel proud of myself for doing things that are a bit scary? YES!

• What are my mental blocks? AKA WHAT IS STOPPING ME?!

  • This could be your low self belief, your attachment to productivity/needing to be good at things, comparing yourself to others

  • One of the most important things in creating a life you absolutely love outside of work is identifying these mental blocks that hold you back —-> digging to see where they came from/why they formed —-> process, heal and re-wire (therapy is a good tool here, but self awareness, journalling and convo’s with people you trust can be just as helpful!)

• And this is one of the most important … I asked myself - What can I do JUST for fun/enjoyment?

  • Not performance, not impressing anyone, not trying to be perfect (growth is good but perfectionism is silly and impossible)

  • This took a looong time for me to get on board with. I had to get real with myself and the perfectionism I was clinging to - and decide that I wanted a fun, fulfilling life more than I wanted to be perfect.

    You need to have fun, joy, pleasure, relaxation to improve and maintain your mental health.
    You are not a robot. You cannot just be 100% productivity.
    
    Sorry. But it’s a non-negotiable.

Unsure what hobbies to do? What hobbies to try?

Great - it’s IDEATION TIME!

Here’s an exercise with a strategy for figuring out what you want and what hobbies might work for you:

Grab a pen and paper and write down answers to these qu’s…

• What are things I have looked at and felt called to BEFORE I said “nah I can’t”

  • Eg. Other people doing cool things, things that look “too hard”, things that “only creative/talented/sporty people do”

• Childhood things you used to enjoy but dropped off

  • Doesn’t matter why you stopped - you may not pick up that exact hobby again, but there might be something interesting in there that you can take for inspiration for your adult self now!

• What are things I didn’t get the opportunity to enjoy, but now I might?

  • Eg. I couldn’t afford it, but maybe now I can, I didn’t have time but maybe now I do, I was in a relationship now i’m single

There’s your list.

Make sure those mental blocks don’t get in the way, and go after it.

I promise you can create the life you want, a life more than just work, bills and taxes.

Want specific advice and strategies for your situation?
Want to chat to someone who has been there + professionally specialises in counselling
in this area?

Let’s do it - Book a session online and we’ll get you from here ——> a life you’re excited about.

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Hey, i’m Ellie - i’m a clinical counsellor and psychotherapist with a fire in my belly to shake up mental health.

I’m Australian born n bred and currently living, loving and working on the unceded lands of the Lekwungen People in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. 

Out of my own frustrations from working in and researching youth mental health across the past decade seeing clients with anxiety, depression, relationship issues and feeling lost in who they are, I created Cocoon Mental Health, providing sessions, workshops and content for those of us who want to move on from our family issues and thrive in this big, sometimes confusing life.

Cocoon uses a chilled-out, creative approach to therapy (no boring, clinical b.s here!) with the belief that you can do and be all the things you want to - because you’ve always deserved more. 

Have an idea, question or want to ask about our services? Pop it in the box below and let’s chat.